That moment when ‘The Bachelorette’ becomes a Lifetime stalker movie

There are a lot of things you can mock Bennett about:

His pompous attitude, the way he condescends to everyone else, his low-rent Thurston Howell III act.

But give the man credit.

He can read Tayshia like the back of a cereal box.

On last night’s episode of ABC’s “The Bachelorette,” in the resolution to last week’s “cliffhanger,” Tayshia gave Bennett the boot.

Ultimately, despite some misgivings, she felt he was disrespecting her for his repeated comments that Noah stood no chance of ending up with her.

Cut, much later, to the end of the next group date.

Tayshia is walking back to her quarters on the tacky gorgeous resort, and who’s standing there like some serial killer ready to pounce?

All you needed was some screeching “Psycho” violin strings to make the moment perfect.

Tayshia allows Bennett into her suite probably while all of “Bachelor Nation” was screaming at their TVs in abject horror.

Bennett takes her hand and lays the sentiment on with a Godzilla-sized trowel.

“Our goodbye was so bizarre, so surreal, I couldn’t even fathom what just happened,” he says. “I was thinking of all these things I hadn’t been able to share with you. Sometimes we don’t realize things until they’re gone. And I realized in that moment, I love you.”

Oooh.

Give the man his due. He’s good.

Tayshia more than anything craves a Man with a Grand Gesture.

This is it.

Defying the show’s admittedly loose rules, showing up after being eliminated, professing his love, Bennett’s given what any aspiring romance novel heroine wants.

Tayshia says she’s confused. She needs time to think.

He doesn’t get the kiss on the lips he wants, but he gets two on the cheek.

Yeah. She’s hooked.

ABC doesn’t even try to hide it.

In the previews for next week, Bennett rejoins the men – and Noah is on the couch for Monday night’s special “The Men Tell All.”

That seems to settle who came out on top.

Ben, Tayshia, on "The Bachelorette" (Photo: ABC)
Ben kept it romantic and real with Tayshia. (Photo: ABC).

Around the resort:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that was not a polygraph on the group date. That was the producers buzzing in with information they culled from their interviews and background checks.

Zac cheated in the past – on his sixth grade girlfriend (!!!). Riley legally changed his name due to strife with his father.

On the one-on-one date, ex-Army Ranger Ben broke a lot of pinatas and probably a lot of hearts when he got real about his struggles.

After breaking his back a couple years ago, he became so depressed, he tried committing suicide twice, but was saved due to the intervention of his sister.

Tayshia is so moved – you’d have to be a stone not to be moved by Ben’s honesty and just damned decency – she gives him a rose, and with it, the guarantee of a hometown visit.

Best moment:

After Tayshia eliminates Bennett, the camera catches Noah chugging a box of Tic Tacs.

Next week: Two episodes of “The Bachelorette.” Can our hearts survive the heartbreak? Sure. Can our stomachs handle listening to Bennett prattle on? Hey, we’re in this together. We’ll get through it.

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