Love doesn’t come Eazy on ‘The Bachelorette’

On “The Bachelorette,” ABC would like to you to buy into the sniveling rivalry between Bennett and Noah, but that’s not where the night’s drama truly lies.

You have to look elsewhere to find the true pain that comes with dating.

Eazy is smart, funny, romantic, up for everything, and built with arms that look as if they can crush steel girders.

He and Tayshia go “ghost-hunting” on the resort they are imprisoned on staying at, and it’s as silly as you might expect, with a lot of screaming and laughing and more screaming.

But the romantic dinner gets serious fast as Eazy lays out his heart.

He’s falling in love with her, and he wants her to know it.

He’s ready to be as open and vulnerable as she needs him to be.

And Tayshia picks up that date rose …

… and tells him she doesn’t feel that way about him, and she doesn’t think she ever will “get there.”

The frozen, pained look on Eazy’s face after he’s opened up his heart to her …

… I never want to see that look again on anyone else ever.

He’s shattered.

As she walks him out, he asks, “Tayshia, this is real?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re sure?”

“I am.”

In the limousine, Eazy asks the camera, “What just happened? It went from great to goodbye in no time.”

Damn you, ABC.

Eazy (Photo: ABC)
I’m so sorry, Eazy.

In the outtakes from “Riverdale,” Bennett continues to condescend to Noah. Noah continues to say he speaks for the group even tho’ the group would rather not know him. Tayshia has had it, and vows to get to the bottom of it before the cocktail party. One of the guys will be going home.

“I’m not going home because some snob tried to drag my name through the mud,” Noah says.

Bennett is overconfident, which is usually a cue on reality TV for misfortune to come a-knockin’.

Bennett prepares a box of gifts – for Noah.

Oh, yeah, this is a great idea.

The gag gifts include a red bandana, a pair of socks decorated in mustaches (“The only place you should wear a mustache is on your feet,” Bennett tells him), and a book on emotional intelligence.

Bennett proceeds to tell Noah he is deficient in three of the four qualities of emotional intelligence.

“I’m not trying to belittle you, I’m literally trying to love you up,” Bennett says.

Love like that usually leads to somebody getting a smack.

Tayshia joins them and says that Bennett is disrespecting her when he says Noah has zero chance of ending up with her.

“What’s in the box?” she demands.

Dun-dun-dun.

To be continued …

Ben (Photo: ABC)
Ben got real with Tayshia.

Predictions:

Bennett is going home. No way Tayshia will be amused by that box of “gifts.” If we’re lucky, she’ll also give the boot to Noah, who will no doubt tell the camera that not only the group but America wanted him to stay.

Zac opened up this week about his addiction issues; Ben revealed he suffered from an eating disorder. The men are trying, but Tayshia seems the one who is having trouble bringing down the walls. Maybe she’s realizing a TV show isn’t the place for her to find love. I would be surprised if this season ended on anything but a “let’s be friends” note.

Best moment of the episode:

JoJo Fletcher, subbing for Chris Harrison, visits the guys, and Noah rushes to a mirror to check himself out. JoJo calls him on it.

“How’s your hair look?”

“How does it look?” Noah wonders.

“I don’t know,” JoJo says.

JoJo, I love you.

Next week: Nothing brings couples closer than lie detector tests. Zac and Riley are pushed to the brink.

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