Noah, you little bitch.
The (now) babyfaced contender for Tayshia Adams’ heart on ABC’s “The Bachelorette” decided to sink his competition – all his competition – by accusing the guys of trashing Tayshia behind her back.
Noah told Tayshia that he’d endured days of the guys telling him that Tayshia only gave him a rose to shake up the house, that her feelings for him weren’t genuine.
That was horsepucky.
The guys razzed him for jumping the fence and horning in on a group date he wasn’t invited to. They mocked his mustache. They mocked his now mustache-free face. They mocked his eagerness, his arrogance, and his general all-around douchebaggery.
At no time did anyone question Tayshia in the general mocking.
Noah, demonstrating his skin was about as thick as tissue paper, decided to spin it in a way that Tayshia would feel her own integrity was being questioned.
He’s not as dumb as he looks: It worked.
Tayshia canceled the rest of the cocktail party and read the guys the riot act.
“If you’re going to be questioning me, I’ll gladly walk you outside,” she said.
After she left, the men were all dumbfounded. What did they do to bring that on?
Noah reluctantly owned up to his chat with Tayshia.
The guys were pissed.
Some were counting on that private time with Tayshia before the rose ceremony.
Bennett pointed out no one was upset with Tayshia.
To the camera, he added, “I’m here for love, not for breastfeeding Noah.”
In his confessional, Noah said, “I don’t want to be the villain, but I’m not changing. If anything, I’m gonna take it up a notch!”
Which is exactly what a villain – or a douchebag – would say.
Also this week:
Give it to the show’s editors for spinning out a humorous collision that never happened.
Both Ben and Ed got the same bright, late-night idea – to drop in on Tayshia.
Oh no! Two handsome men at her door, what would Tayshia do?
Ed got to the door first –
– to Chris Harrison’s door.
Harrison told him it was 2:30 a.m., and he was on the wrong side of the resort.
But he invited him in for a glass of wine, for what looked to be the most uncomfortable ten minutes of anyone’s life ever.
Ben, however, had a better sense of direction, and apologized to Tayshia for not stepping up in the way she hoped.
Their intense make-out session was interrupted by a knock at the door – who could that be?
Room service! With champagne, for the night cap they never had that other night.
Tayshia was pleased with his thoughtfulness, and the two got back to smacking lips, and all was right with “Bachelorette,” for at least a few minutes.
And even later: In the credits clip, at that so uncomfortable wine date with Harrison, Ed gave him some advice – to knock on their suite door instead of just barging in like he owned the place.
The nerve of Chris Harrison thinking he’s one of the guys.
Next week: Noah vs. Bennett! Yeah, we all lose.